Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
