im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
COCAINE IS GR8
Randomize
