I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
