He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
