its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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