I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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