I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
