so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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