google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
