sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
