i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.