Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
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im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.