A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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