If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My dick has a subreddit
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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