East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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