Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
