the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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