Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
