I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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