it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
