Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I can't turn off my feet"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
