Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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