well I can't set my house on fire every night
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?