That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
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Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
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eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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