I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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