So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
