I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
