So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
