god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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