You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i dont even know how to be here
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
