i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
