the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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