my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
