Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
