I just threw up on my dentist
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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