super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
