I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
