I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
