You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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