I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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