Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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