just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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