Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
