I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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