you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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