you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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