I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
