i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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