I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
