She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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