Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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