Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
