i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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