not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
