i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
