So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
is it fun? or sober?
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