She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
if you like me you must not know who I am
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
tell me about the eggs
Randomize