Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize